That is actually a current song I am in love with, that I literally found the other day. But it ties into this whole blog so it is the title of it. Haha.
I've been thinking a lot about life, obviously, who doesn't. And where it's going. I, of course, have the dream of being a Journalist and writer of some sort although that career choice is a hard one to become a part of. It's very low income, and very hard to get jobs in general, since the world of paper is quickly disappearing. But I have other dreams, other dreams, I'm afraid should just remain dreams because of many reasons. One: I wouldn't know where to start. And two: I'm just to afraid to pursue them.
I dream of doing something I love more than even writing itself, which is saying something. I have a dream of dancing, and while the dancing world really doesn't have a place for me. I don't exactly have the dancers body and while I love hip-hop and can dance farely well, I wouldn't hold a candle to the many Hip-Hop dancers/choreographers I idolize. I do often, however, choreograph things. In my mind, when I hear a good song, like My love by Sia for instance. I am instantly forming moves in my mind. Imagining duets or even groups of people learning my work, following me. I think I would give anything to be able to translate even one of the pieces I have stuck in my mind onto a dance floor. It would probably bring tears to my eyes, although just about everything brings tears to my eyes. But I am afraid I know nothing about dance, a few terms here and there but I wouldn't even be able to explain my work to others which made me think that I could learn, teach myself. And while I can't physical do the things I create in my mind, I could explain it to others who could, watch it unfold in front of my eyes. See my dreams coming true. All people want that right? But I wouldn't know where to start. And I am far to afraid to venture there, I would do what I always do and doubt myself. What kind of job is persuing a dance career as a choreography when I can't phyiscal dance? What kind of money would I make? Not nearly enough as I should make as an adult. And what if my ideas actually suck, maybe they're just better to stay in my mind. Something to dream about, that makes me happy in a world that so oftens tries to tear me down. I know I have one thing that always lifts my spirits, and that's dance.
Which is why I'll never regret my tattoo "Hip-Hop saved my life." because I know it did, I don't exactly know where'd I'd be if I didn't try and dance. And although I might not feel like I belong to the place where I started anymore, that's okay. I know that it saved my life and no one can try and take that away from me. But anyways, when I come to realizations in my life, I like to not forget them. And ever since I made this blog, this is where I come to write them down. So that I can always remember, in times that seem so tough, that I can always keep dreaming and maybe someday I'll find a way to bring those dreams to the surface and make them come true.
Until next time,
CassidyDoris.
